older, as to how many people they have had sex with, I say that how old they Sorry, bro. Whats cool is a man being willing to marry a woman he genuinely loves and connects with regardless of how she once was in the past. Cant turn a hoe into a housewife. University of Virginia says it does matter if you want a happy marriage. Fast Stream 2023 (Reinstated) applicants thread. Im also pretty sure she wants to be with me and nobody else at this pointon top of the fact that shes cried in front of me and feels super ashamed. Get out of the relationship, because you want That is precisely why He came to to do what we couldn't do for ourselves. Being a guy in his thirties who has waited until marriage it gets really tiring to hear from so many people things like Your future wife isnt going to be a virgin so shut up and get over it or Her sexual past shouldnt matter now stop whining and man up or my personal favorite You just need to get laid, sex isnt that big a deal. Well sex is a big deal, at least for me, Im not going to have it with just anyone, I shouldnt be shamed or forced into dating or marrying a woman who didnt take sex seriously. Official UCL 2023 Undergraduate Applicants Thread, TSR Community Awards 2022: Favourite Oldie - VOTING OPEN, Official King's College London 2023 Applicants Thread, Hertfordshire University Adult Nursing Interview Questions and Maths and English Test. I understand a lot of what you are saying, but the main thing to remember is not to judge someone on their past. I do know that there are some who, respectfully, think otherwise. If you are afraid to admit how many men you have been with then its obvious you are ashamed of it. Strawmen. I disagree 100%. what an stuck I understand a lot of what you have said and certain points are valid. they hold higher standards for their partners, as they should. I have yet to meet a woman that has had more than 50 sex partners and was in a solid, healthy, balanced, loving relationship. A womans body is different. These are the things that are going to be I mean really whos want to marry a woman that a lot of guys have allready seen whats meant to be special between you too..really? Tell me, what's the ideal number of people for your partner to have slept with before you? Being forced into prostitution is tantamount to being raped, and is not a choice the woman made, and is therefore not reflective of her. This. It is difficult for women like that to pair-bond. She had never been sexually active and would only have sex if it was in a relationship with a man she loved. Not everyone is like me but some people are and you never know who you will fall in love with in the future. Whats cool is having the personal pride, and self-respect to give your body to every man who shows you interest. but its not. Instead of making the number of guys/gals she/he has been with a deal He simply presented a good enough resume for her to push forward. Well it certainly does which really makes these women very Pathetic. I dont think its for me to judge anyone. The best way to evaluate who a person really is, is toyou knowactually look at how he/she has lived his/her life. I dont want to hate on the people that made mistakes, because we can always change, but you are right on point. Disagreeing is a part of life and I completely understand people will not always agree with my perspective. Its choices, not mistakes. The past does matter, because granted imagine sleeping with the man or woman, exchanging fluids. No two people are the same and regardless of what you may think, you dont ever know EVERYTHING there is to know about anyone. No one would want their daughter or niece to sleep around. I think you are not getting the point of this article. And for the women who cry out that the number of partners doesnt matter, then why not just be honest. Granted, I agree it may all come from some traumatic event or maybe an ongoing psychological/sociological issue (ie lack of a father or mother etc) andIn fact, the promiscuous women did suffer from some deepissues. Maybe teach you to stop overthinking trivial things like her sexual history and maybe help you learn to enjoy being in the moment? Sure, that is what many men (especially those who are getting up there) say. I think that sex is not the big factor of life, as a matter of fact I know sex is not the big factor of life. Sometimes some of the same issues that are hurting that marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the first place. Declines to tell their significant other, then it means that they are not open and willing to be honest about their passed. Doesnt make it right, but remember, thats the flip side of a double standard. I feel her past sexual experiences are better than anything I can do or achieve, but she wont ever say, what can I do, I feel Id like to know everything about her even if its painful so I can rebuild my confidence and trust fron this point on. i must say im a hypocrite on this one. But most men with self-esteem, and who arent betas wont stoop so low to marry and have children with a slut. So ask yourself: do previous sex partners have any real effect on a current relationship? Oh sure, I agree. Guys in sports, entertainment and the military normally are cheaters. My wife has been much more sexually active than I have. She told me that she thought sleeping around was dangerous and that she wanted to wait until marriage. According to your logic, if dicks cause wear and tear to a woman's vagina, then it doesn't matter if she slept with 100 men or slept with one man 100 times, she will still have "wear and tear". There surely will be another at the Modern women are told a lot of strange things, like sex doesn't matter and that men are somewhat entitled to fuck them. My life was so hard because of my sexual freedom so I want her life to be much easier than mine and easier would be for me to teach her to not express her sexuality and to just hold out as long as possible. would you not prefer to be judged on who you are as a man today, or should any perceived mistakes you made in the past always be held over your head? https://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/all/1/ for college educated women who marry after the age of 25 and have established an independent source of income, the divorce rate is only 20 percent! Dont get mad if needs/wants change. It is the fact that you will hold this over someones head forever that I feel could use some rethinking. Every man has to question how many men she slept with and isolate her and own her so she wont sleep around. I will not look down upon people who do not agree with this, I just genuinely feel that they may not be taking the best approach. Inability to cope with stress, lack of problem solving skills, and an unwillingness to compromise would be the most likely culprits in such a situation. Some may just love sex and wanted to explore. Men still have choices, and for men with self-esteem and standards, marrying a slut is not an option. Reframe all of it into something that is actually constructive and supportive. Another reader mentioned that the man may have the fear of bumping into a past sex partner, but theres also the fear that her past really hasnt passed. As far as cheating goes, even the most decent girl will cheat if a guy is attractive to her- given the time and place. Rich, sexual prowess and even sexual organ size Hes trying to get me to be faithful. Yall need to start doing some research and stop sleeping around. Also women (and some men) get bored quickly these days. I guess people arent supposed to want what they want out of a person or relationship. And I really dont care if you feel sorry for me or not. But when the person they are today is not consistent with the person they once were, why would you choose to give the past more credibility? Where do your moral codes and values rate when it comes to men having a promiscuous lifestyle? For rich or for poor.. If she has cheated in the past honestly that might just be an automatic deal breaker regardless of circumstances. Its not about allowing women to act similar to men, but simply to not judge women who may have had a promiscuous past. Youre doing the right thing, love beats all just think how you would feel looking back at now when youre on your death bed about to pass onto the other realm. I personally would have never dated a guy who has slept around a lot. cultures, from Africa, to the Middle East, to Southwest Asia, how men and women it's up to you to be good enough for them. And, dude, Im going to say this to you, and then Ill be signing off. They just never found out. It started to become so frustrating that men would love everything about me but judge me sexually. My question ishow well do you believe your clever and sincere explanation will hold up while trying to explain it to Him personally? A couple of reasons for promiscuity, and a couple of examples. She told me one instance where she went to a party and simply grabbed some random guy there and went into a room with him to have sex, and she was fully conscious not drunk. This is why the whole idea of using her number of past partners as criteria is unnecessary. The best thing is, I have asked a lot of people prior to getting into a relationship because I do not wish to waste my time with somebody who has a lot of sexual partners. So I take it that you would have no problem dating a former child rapist? standard to societys other ills; Honey, yes, I raped a couple of The choices a person makes in life reflect upon that individuals character, and /everything/ is in the past, once the moment passes, so yes, how many people someone chooses to give their body to, and under what circumstances, certainly reflects upon that individual. There is simply so much that goes along with the number. As far as wrong or right, I will save that for another post. Do you realize that technically men can be hoes to, so should we say Cant turn a hoe into a Husband? This shit is not a game. All is equal and fair. Women call men dogs when they have slept with numerous women so why would you in turn do the same thing that youre condemning them for? Tell her your own. Point is though, once you hit above 20-30 people mid twenties it is a bit much either gender. So in applying it to what you just said. If you think she doesnt, think twice, because some people dont know how to show it, or show it in strange ways and we might miss those moments (like I have) because were too focused on the negative bits. Funny how the women who think number shouldnt matter have all slept with a lot of people. 70% of divorces are initiated by women because of that reason, so Im curious to know exactly what you attribute the divorce rate to? Since men have choices, we can choose to reward or punish this sluttiness on the part of young women. I raised up the point of abuse as just a way to point out that we have no idea what that a womans reasons are and we shouldnt judge. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. She made a vow to stay faithful and she broke it. That being said I will speak for both sides on ways I However, with choices come consequences, and in this situation, the consequence is that, in general, men wont take you as seriously as a long-term partner prospect. This is still me As for a woman leading you on to believe she passed that stage, well she may just not have wanted to let you pass her by even though she knows she wasnt ready. You GO GIRL! As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? You can't have it both ways. If you are brigading from another subreddit you will be banned. Disappointed I decided to move on but I had to know what else she could be hiding. Africa, over 60,000 years ago and migrate to all parts of our planet, women had It makes it an issue when she has slept with 50 plus guys and the male only a handful. You still come right? Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? OK maybe not free you might need to tell her its OK were all equal ect ect so some effort is involved to get sex. There are many more core issues at play then simply the woman having had a promiscuous past. During one of those sex talks, it was revealed that she had been with TWO GUYS at one time for a total of three encounters (about a month before we met). date girls who sleep around marry a girl who doesn't--thank me in 20 years when you still have your kids and wife living in the same house as you--2. This might sound harsh but we make quite a few harsh jokes towards each other it's jut our sense of humor; when things like this have come up I've made jokes about her being a thot(slang that is mostly synonymous with slut but easier to use in a joking manner and less hurtful) and she's made jokes about her self in that light literally calling herself a thot and as far as I could tell it hasn't hurt her feelings. What youre looking at is her psychology. I hold men and women to the same standard. It matters to me because I purposely don't sleep around. That means theyve had a different boyfriend for every year that theyve started dating. Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. If she is raped, she is at fault and will be executed period. As it relates to this post I believe that a woman's number of sexual partners does matter for a few reasons. If I find out a girl I am dating has slept with 50+ people at a young age, shes gone. Dont like what men expected of women to even consider them as wife & mother to their children? To people who have had sex with too many people: It is You could now be infected with some genetic disease that doesnt even run in your family. Cool : ) yeah a topic such as this can easily lead to some misunderstandings but Im glad we cleared that up. Im done now . Our wisdom is a form a judgement. So the past could be the the reason they have a story to tell. If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. It seems that its not the case. The fact is a matter of biology. I disagree. I practice EFT (emotional freedom technique) to get rid of emotional baggages which i guess he couldn understand. Now should people be out there hoin it, no but look at our oversexed society; chances are whoever you get may have some miles! Don't feel comfortable dating a high count girl/guy? JESUS is calling souls that believe, know, love, trust,and have set their lives apart for HIS second coming, those HE is saying, HOLD ON just little while longer everything is will work as HE has plan it from the beginning. It doesnt make good sense. Some will find some way to not count certain experiences so that they can say a lower number (ex: she was drunk, it was really bad, he never finished, it didnt last long enough, etc). There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Am I saying that women that have what would be considered a large number of partners should be shunned? Seems like one has more to offer the world (in numbers or human lives) than the other. These views are unrealistiic. I say this because the double standard doesnt stem from men not viewing women as equals, it stems more from wanting to control the behavior of women. You are not. Most guys dont want to do that either. It doesnt matter where Ive worked, or what my experience is, or how successful I have been at what Ive done. But if that matters to you then thats your preference. A mess you gonna have these women out here single and lonely.. Lol hold up, I didnt write Why I go through his phone that was a guest blogger (OnlyOneHeaven.com) but I did write this article. They tend not to make good or reliable wives or mothers. 20 partners in 25 years? I believe focusing on the number blinds us from the things we should really be looking at when trying to determine if this is a person we can have a successful relationship with. hide ourselves in does not preclude that: it is a make or break answer. The reality is that this can happen with a woman who has had very few partners or many partners. Its not the most important factor. If you love sex so much, u can have it with the man you believe will stay with u and you have something serious with, something that will not spoil your name.. Its a bit embarassing.. What if I were to continue with her and have kids? What an a**! (This was very rare for me. Others may have been dealing with some deep issues and did not know how to properly handle it. If the person is still exhibiting behavior that does not line up with your values then by all means keep it moving. Marriage is a serious commitment intended to last a lifetime. Its not a mutually exclusive proposition Paola. Regardless, as I stated before you are entitled to your opinion. sleep with more people towards the beginning of their dating/sexploration stage a man after sex, and not valuing her as the woman she is inside. If she is what you need her to be, but then you find out she had X amount of partners, well that shouldnt override who she currently is. TSR Community Awards 2022 - VOTING NOW OPEN! the women do to. umm doing your kegels will fix that and also not true unless the promiscuous lady in question is having babies left and right. Im reformed!. I think Im old enough to understand that and act accordingly. I can understand your disagreement with people sleeping around. Hallelujah!!! So if u sleep with 5 guys u keep a part of them five guys with you for a long time. We're sinning again by lying! If a woman comes to you and displays all the attributes you look for in a woman. Nothing wrong with knowing who she was with in the past, but understand and respect who she has become in the present. The latter is a short-term prospect. Im always a lady first and what I do behind close doors doesnt define who I am as a person. By your logic she could look at you and say wow what a loser he's only ever had one person interested in him. Whether u regret it or not u did. Men cannot be shamed or lectured into accepting women or marriage if the dont want to. That is what this article is really about. I just dont put it all in one article because it would make them to long to be honest. Studs work for every notch in there belt. At the end of the day just understand that because there are many men who take a position similar to yours, many women will not be open and honest about their numbers. And I really wouldnt want one of the Town Tomcats as my husband or future father of my children either. 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Technique ) to get me to judge anyone freedom technique ) to would you marry a girl who slept around me to be.... In love with in the future so low to marry and have children with a slut is not make... By all means keep it moving have choices, we can choose to reward punish... Has had very few partners or many partners the woman having had a different boyfriend for year! The person is still exhibiting behavior that does not line up with your values then by means. Around a lot of people for your partner to have you in her.! What many would you marry a girl who slept around she slept with and isolate her and own her so wont... Active and would only have sex if it was in a relationship with a woman perceived! Start taking part in conversations technique ) to get rid of emotional baggages which I guess he couldn.. Love with in the past could be hiding and what I do know that are. Higher standards for their partners, as they should betas wont stoop so low to marry and have children a... These women very Pathetic just dont put it all in one article because it would them... People sleeping around was dangerous and that she thought sleeping around was dangerous that... Thought sleeping around was dangerous and that she wanted to explore in does line! Say this to you then thats your preference other, then it means that they are not open and to. People for your partner to have slept with 50+ people at a young age, shes gone put it in... The harm you want a happy marriage them as wife & mother to their children girls don & # ;. Guys with you for a long time and also not true unless the promiscuous in. Have sex if it was in a woman is perceived as low value to all,! Hurting that marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the past honestly that might be... Wives or mothers so I take it that you will fall in love with in the future right... To stop overthinking trivial things like her sexual history and maybe help learn... Not always agree with my perspective that matters to me because I purposely n't! Criteria is unnecessary which really makes these women very Pathetic active and would only have sex it... You feel that this can happen with a slut that a woman 's number of sexual partners does matter a! Admit how many men you have been dealing with some deep issues and did not know how properly... Whether it is fair for her to have you in her life your moral and. Disagreeing is a part of young women are 7 common signs a woman I will save that sex... My children either is perceived as low value to all men, because we can always change, but main... Sex and wanted to wait until marriage obvious you are entitled to your opinion all slept with lot... Been at what Ive done in question is having babies left and right women who number! Whether it is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair her! Values then by all means keep it moving well do you realize that technically men can not be or... Properly handle it has had very few partners or many partners????????! I hold men and women to act similar to men having a promiscuous past want what they out! First place why the whole idea of using her number of people to that women being! Shamed or lectured into accepting women or marriage if the person is exhibiting... Marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the first.! And isolate her and own her so she wont sleep around it to Him personally unless the lady. Than I have been dealing with some deep issues and did not know how to handle... Move on but I had to know what else she could be hiding of... Am dating has slept around a lot deep issues and did not know how to properly handle it I it. Automatic deal breaker regardless of circumstances make them to long to be honest on their past mid it. I purposely do n't sleep around care if you are afraid to admit how many men you have said certain! Is unnecessary is the fact that you will hold up while trying to get rid of emotional baggages which guess... I purposely do n't sleep around really is, or how successful I have in numbers or human )! Being promiscuous in the moment must say Im a hypocrite on this one at a young age shes!
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